God is so so good to me. He gives me such an adrenaline rush. He makes me feel like I am a whole person. Do you know that feeling you get when you are in a boat and you are going really fast and your hair is blowing and the sun's rays are radiating on your skin? That's what God feels like. When I am with him I can show my true colors and be vulnerable. He does not judge me and he does not condemn me. He's not happy when I mess up, but he gives me a chance to start over again. He simply loves me. Over and over and over again.
It's so easy to get sucked away. Down deep into a black hole. To start believing lies and become agitated. It starts when you don't have your Jesus time. Your time with him. That time where He reveals truth to you. It starts when you don't except the grace that he gives you every morning. We are not worthy of His grace, but through Jesus' blood we can accept the grace. If we don't we are believing lies that we are not good enough. Through Jesus we can receive grace.
God is so good. He soothes and comforts. He offers peace and he gives life. He is full of abundant love and embraces us in a caressing matter. He wants to be close to us. He adores us. We are His beings, His children. I love knowing that He is watching out for me. That He is thinking about me.
He is so powerful and so mighty. He could wipe us off the earth at any time, but he doesn't. There's beauty in knowing that He wants us to learn and to capture Him. He wants us to pursue after Him like he pursues after us. He offers wisdom we just have to choose to accept it. Often my stubbornness gets in the way of accepting God's grace. I think that I can do life on my own and that I "have it all under control." But ha! I don't. Far far from it. Sometimes its hard for me to let my walls down and be helped. I want to help myself, but in reality I cannot do it on my own. I need Jesus and I need those around me.
God is teaching me so much. I want to keep learning more. To stop my selfish desires and stubbornness and expect extraordinary things. To roll with the punches and take one day at a time because "each day has enough trouble of its own." Each day I have to ask God, "Okay, what's it gonna be today?" I can't plan my own future, then I just get disappointed. But I have to depend and rely on the future God has planned for me.
