B.R.E.A.T.H.E.

Finally a chance to B.R.E.A.T.H.E.

This summer has been so full. So many lasting friendships and memories made. Being at camp on staff this year was amazing. The days were busy in the kitchen, out on the ropes course, down by the waterfront, doing laundry, cleaning...etc. But so good. God was definitely at work. It was cool to see how God used our brokeness for His glory. I got the opportunity to pray with some of the campers and share with them what God has done in my life. What I love about camp is that it is a place of FREEDOM. People love you for who you are and think of you as part of their family. Everyone learns how to appreciate each other's differences and love deeply. I met some pretty awesome people up there, people that will always be near to my heart.

Miss you girls!

After being in my cousin's wedding and going up North to camp for 4 1/2 wks, came back to get my best friend married. I can't believe that she is married already. So crazy! I feel like it was just the other day when we were back in middle school together. It was good to spend a lot of time together before the big day, including the bachelorette party, which was fun going downtown for dessert and photo scavenger hunt. I am so happy for her. She is so beautiful in so many ways. I am so blessed to be a part of her life and so thankful for Steve too. They are going to be a cute married couple. :)

Congrats Abby. the first one out of our HS small group to be married.

After the wedding, Camp Higher Ground started up that week. I was an adult leader for the Jumpin' Jamaican cabin. Despite being flooded out by rain, and having to sleep on a ping pong table for the first two nights, it was a great week. lol We learned to have JOY in all situations and by the end of the week it was beautiful. I loved the staff and laughed a lot, mainly at kyle vela and kevin kerkstra. I think my stomach hurt at almost every meal because of how much i laughed. I loved the girls in my cabin and my counselors did an awesome job. It was cool to see the campers get psyched about worshipping Jesus at club. It was awesome to see them jumping up and down and raising their hands and just loving being in the presence of God. Why can't we have that kind of passion every time we worship? Also, can't forget the night of burning insence, skit planning failure, and running to the bathroom in the middle of the night with JJ and getting soaked. Such a good week.

Now that I'm back it feels weird having time to actually do stuff that I want to do. I have time to b.r.e.a.t.h.e., r.e.f.l.e.c.t., and d.e.b.r.i.e.f. on everything that has happened so far this summer. I just don't want to forget how great this summer has been so far. God has taught me so much and keeps teaching me.

I am looking forward to moving into 45o Emerald at the end of this month with these lovely ladies.

I'm excited to start a fresh new season of life with these amazing girls in a house together.

I have loved living in community this summer and can't wait for more of it. I can't wait to live in

the heart of downtown. I am really praying that God would use our house as a place of refuge and

ministry to the city of Grand Rapids so we'll see what He does.

Although, this next year is still pretty cloudy with what I am doing, I am excited to see what else God has planned. I foresee great things ahead, because of how faithful he has been. I've never been so unsure about the future, but it also makes me cling more to Jesus. He is leading me down a path, giving me only light for the few steps in front of me before he gives me more light. I'm trusting this path towards ywam and missional living that he has been calling me towards. I'm looking forward to the future and holding onto to Spirit for strong guidance.

It's been a great summer so far, so much has happened, I've learned a lot. I'm learning to follow the Spirit's leading more and more each day.

Not For Sale: End Human Trafficking

According to http://www.notforsalecampaign.org,

"There are more than 30 million slaves in the world today. More than at the height of the Trans-Atlantic slave trade."

Holding Nothing Back

God is the God of making crazy ideas a reality.

Lately, God has been molding me and shaping me in ways that I never knew before. He is putting new passions in me and He is directly showing me how he is guiding me. This summer God started just breaking my heart more and more for the oppressed and the fatherless, like it talks about in Isaiah 58. I had all this passion and I was like, "God, I wanna do more. What will you do with all this passion I have? God, take my heart and break it for what breaks yours. I don't want to live an ordinary life." I didn't know why I had so much passion for the poor and the oppressed. I felt like I needed to do something besides what I was already doing, something bigger, something that would stretch my faith entirely, something risky and adventurous.

Then God started moving that passion he had already instilled in me through different people He placed into my life. Consistently, I kept hearing story after story about missions. My cousin just got back from Zambia, my other cousin is doing her student teaching in India, my friend just got back from YWAM and now she's in India with an internship, another random person I met started talking to me about how he just got back from YWAM and the amazing things it did in his life.....literally the list is quite long of the people I encountered.

So, I started researching. I was like, "God, why are you putting all these people in my life right now? It's gotta be for a reason." Then God began showing me why. I have always wanted to do YWAM. I wanted to do it after I graduated high school, but that was not my timing. So, I started just glancing at the site every so often, more of just dreaming and wishing. One day I came across something that caught my eye. It was a school in Australia, and not only was it in Australia, it was a Sports DTS (Discipleship Training School). I was hooked. So I then I wanted to know more information and what was this all about? Then it said outreach: Africa. "Oh man, God what are you doing?" You know I love Africans and Africa and have always wanted to go there." I read more. "Hmm.. the dates are when?? February - July 2011? Okay cool God. How come this would fit perfectly with my schedule?" More research. A possibility that I could get credit for school through Independent Study while I was there? Not bad God. Okay, so obviously someone that I talk to, especially probably an advisor, has got to tell me this is not a good idea and that it's not practical. I was wrong again. Everyone that I talked to had outrageously good takes on it, even better than what I had for myself, "Amanda you have to do YWAM," "I can totally see you doing it," "So when are you going?", "Keep me updated and I can help you with whatever you need." Alright people, this is only a crazy idea remember!? Who said I'm actually going....

God keeps giving me little steps that I need to take. He has been only showing me 3ft in front of me. But He knows what he's doing. For sure it is a definite and exciting journey of trust. Today I just printed off my application to a base in Melbourne, Australia. Who knows what God is gonna do tomorrow? I only know what he's done today.

Every so often I have doubts about this journey, okay a lot actually. I think about what my parents are going to say when I tell them. I worry about how I am going to pay for it all. If it's the right thing to take of college. If it's the right timing. BUT those things hold me back. They chain me down to an ordinary life. That's who I was! But not who I am now. I am a crustacean shedding off it's shell. The old is gone, the new has come. I am renewed, changed, different from who I was. I don't want the things of this world anymore. I want to live with eternal perspective, "earthly things just fade and shatter." I want to start living a radical life!

Tonight I was at Crossroads worship night down at the Prayer House. While we were worshipping I really felt God telling me to stop holding back. I hold back so much from God. I don't give Him my all like I give to other things. I want to stop holding back. I want to dive head first off this cliff into the ocean. In order for God to work and do big things, I need to give Him my everything. All night I have been feeling this repeated theme of not holding back and giving it all to Jesus. So I come home and my friend Trudy had sent me an email with a link to a song attached. And when I did I was like, "God, wow, you are on the move! You are amazing. Of course you would have it be this." The link was a to a song by Jesus Culture/ Kim Walker. The name of the song was, "Holding Nothing Back." This was not an accident. God knew. God planned. God ordained. God is. God is present. God is active. Do not doubt the hand of this Almighty One.

Isaiah 30:21

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left you will

hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

God is that voice. He has a plan. I am excited to see where He takes me from here. I know I'm on the start of an amazing journey. I feel God keep pushing my heart towards YWAM and He keeps giving me steps to take so I'm gonna keep taking them, Holding Nothing Back.

A Furious Love

Furious Love

Wow, this movie is amazing and literally, life changing. This incredibly moving film demonstrates the real power of Christ's love and puts into action God's word, "love conquers all evil." Tears streamed down my face as I watched the love of God fall on the darkest and most evil people. I watched God pour out His love onto prostitutes, witch doctors, sorcerers, addicts...etc. Our God is a God of LOVE! And that is something He cannot possibly stop Himself from doing.

Wanting to be moved? Watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyfH3T8HXZg

"You won't relent until you have it all....

.....I'm Yours."

-You Won't Relent by Misty Edwards

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3spvQYlB-I

Passion

I have a lot of passion for issues, but don't always know why I have those passions or know exactly know how to put them to use. One of my best friends and a cousin just got back from Africa on mission trips. Every time I hear a story about missions, wyam, foreign countries, adoption, aids/hiv, poverty..etc. my heart breaks. I want to go so badly. I keep asking God when He will send me?? I know I can't rush anything. I learned that with Mexico when I tried to force what God did not have in store for me. Why do I have so much passion for diversity, cultures, foreign languages?? Why do I love children so much?? Why do I hate how materialistic America is? It's hard having so much passion, but not knowing where God will lead with it. I know that someday I will probably live in a foreign country as a teacher. I know that someday my family will be culturally mixed and that it will be big and welcoming.

I've been on 3 mission trips, but the one in Mexico I left my heart there. I love those people so much. How do I have so much love for them when I only knew them for about a week?

Why does my heart light up every time I see Tem and Tessa? Why do I love hearing stories about Africa from my cousins who have been there countless times (and yes i am jealous)? Why does the documentary film i watched in my HS art class about the woman who helped impoverished children gain success through photography stick in my mind? Why did I ball my eyes out throughout Blood Diamond and Slumdog Millionaire? God is breaking my heart for what breaks His. Now God what will I do with this broken heart??Give me guidance, strength, and wisdom.

I will continue praying. I will continue praying for the brokeness.

Camp

Yesterday I drove back from Upper Peninsula Bible Camp and today I drove home from Camp Higher Ground. I adore camp, but mainly just those two. Camp is a place where the heart thrives and the soul flourishes. You learn so much about how to interact with all different kinds of people and the things God sets on your heart to learn.

I feel camp is a place where everyone can feel loved and included. Where all different types of people can be friends; the most good looking jock can be friends with the complete nerd. I love it because i feel like it is a reflection of what heaven will be like. It's a place where someone can be exactly who they were made to be and be loved unconditionally; a place of no judgments, only love.

But why is it that so often camp stays at camp? Let's make camp the reality. It takes people willing to deny themselves and take up their cross daily. I feel like this is to be my challenge: to create harmony wherever i go and to encourage one another to be the best that they can be by loving unconditionally. I want to be different from this world.

As I go back to Calvin, I know what I will be facing, I want to be a light in the darkness there. I know I need to be stronger than ever, stronger than even before. I want people to feel loved and valued wherever I go. There are some things I need to change and work through since last year and I can only do this through Agape love of Christ. Lord, pour out your love so that i may pour out into the lives of others. Amen

You Lead I Follow.

My Dreams. My Passions. My High Hopes.

A Time to Withdraw.

A Time to LIVE in Every Moment of Every Day.

I just want to help the needy and oppressed. My heart is heavy for those hurting and suffering. My heart hurts when I know that there are thousands of children dying daily. Because of poverty and disease, but also because we are killing them!! Babies get aborted on a regular basis, a life is taken without even a tear shed. The poor souls don't even get proper burials. Right now, my heart yearns, as well as many others, to help end abortion and to save the orphans/fatherless around the world.

I want to figure out where I am supposed to be serving God and figure out what is my "true calling" or whatever, but I think I just need to be still. I know without a doubt in my mind that God has some awesome plans for my future, but in this season of my life I think I need to concentrate on trusting and being patient. I think this is a time for me to meditate on His will, listen to His voice, and feel more of what is on His heart. This time in my life is like my "I" time, my time to withdraw, a time for silence, a time for wisdom-seeking and soul-searching, a time to really learn what it means to follow after God. It's like my mountain top experience. Moses had to go up on Mt. Sinai to experience God before he could go down and lead the people, he had to get the wisdom before he could go give the wisdom. Maybe this is why I wasn't supposed to go to Mexico. I wasn't ready. God is preparing me in little ways here in Grand Rapids before he is going to use me in other ways. He's teaching me about how every place can be a "mission field." He's showing me how if we give him just a little bit of faith, he can do huge things with it. Already he has put together a Life Retreat at the Omega House and ignited many hearts for Him, especially it seems more recently in GR.

So in this next season of life I feel I am entering, I just want every day to be an adventure, where God reveals something new. I just want to follow after the heart of God. I just want to be listening for every good and wonderful thing that God has to say. I don't want to miss out. And if God tells me to do something insane, I have to do it, trusting and obeying. I just want to be so full of His love that it overflows to everyone around me. I just want to live life fully and abundantly. And I know if I am daily seeking after the heart of God, this will happen.

I do not know what will happen from this season of life to the next, but I do know that I will be trusting. Trusting and believing that He is in control of my life and that what He is doing is best. Where I am is where I am supposed to be. This puts my restless heart at peace. God, you lead and I will follow.

Fill us up Lord and send us out

Fill us up and send us out

Fill us up and send us out Lord.